now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
