in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
