just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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