im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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