I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My dad just said "fuck circus"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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