Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
They took my balls.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
