oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
