too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
