i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
