So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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