Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
