i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
