Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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