butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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