One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
