You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
