Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
