Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
