i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Two words: blizzard sex
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
