doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
