Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
