just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I looked at my own cervix.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
