can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
