We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Randomize
