We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
