Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
