i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
