I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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