don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
