So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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