it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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