Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
