I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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