We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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