I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
