Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
