He kissed a someone with a penis
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We had sex on a dog bed..
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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