My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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