Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
