i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
