Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
