The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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