CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
