I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
