Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
