i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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