Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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