he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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