Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
