That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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