New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
