I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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